Off Topic: Things Nineties Babies Adore

1. Rugrats

2. Tamagotchi

3. Polly Pocket and Mighty Mike

4.  All That (and a bag of chips)

5. Going to McDonalds hoping to get one of these, Beanie Babies, because it was the Fair way of collecting them

6. LiteBrites

7. RECESS

8. Snap Bracelets kept you entertained for hours

9. So would a 3D View Master

10. Barbie Karaoke Machines

11. Berenstain Bears. Enough said

12. SATURDAY MORNING LOONEY TUNES!

13. Being cool because you had a Walkman

14. The Amanda Show

15.  The Saddle Club

16. Power Rangers Zorgs

17. Super Nintendo (SNES), PS1, or Gameboy

18. Spending more time outside than in during summer, and owning one of these.

19. Waterful Ring-Toss

20. Trollz

21. MoonShoes

22. Hey! Arnold

23. Not only owning these (and keeping them organized by how rare they were) but knowing how to play and watching the TV show to determine a card's ultimate value by battles won or lost

24. Etch-A-Sketch

25. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Smile and Share this if you wanted/owned/bought for your kids/bought for someone of the opposite gender/remember these

Peace, Love and Bulletproof Marshmallows

Ronnie

Happy Birthday Darling

So many things come and go away... so many beautiful lessons are so hard to learn. Pain makes you stronger, Pressure makes you more efficient, Stress makes you durable. But today... today all of these things make me question the point in my sobriety, why exactly am I holding out like this? I have a son who deserves me as a sober mother, who deserves to know me. But I fear it may already be too late. I fear it may just be that I won't win at this. Maybe I'm too far gone, maybe I am too badly broken. Maybe... maybe I need to give up and lay down the sword and take up the whetstone instead. Perhaps I am not meant to be a parent. Just as I will never have an animal of my own, because they always find their forever families with through me; maybe I am meant to bear other people's babies, maybe I will never know the pure joy of being called mommy. Maybe I won't know who I am because there are too many parts of me fractured in too many places. Where am I even going with this.

Happy Birthday to my son, who is a year old today... oh my boy. I have learned to love through you. You taught me how to smile through the tears, and how to laugh at myself. You showed me how to hold on when it hurts so much my body won't respond. You helped me find my center and reminded me how to pray. Oh my son... you deserve so much more than the life you've been given so far. I know you'd walk through this with me for the sake of being with me in the end, and oh how I pray this will end soon so we can move on with our lives. Be good today and enjoy the first of many celebrations to come... Meanwhile I will try to survive another special day, your special day, without you.

Love, your Mother.


Well, here's to hoping I get my life back soon...




Peace, Love and Bulletproof Marshmallows

Ronnie

It Was A Breakthrough

So yesterday was a total breakthrough for me.

I have spent the last week with my (chosen) brother and his wife, and might I say I love those two people with all that I have in me.

Yesterday, my brother called me on something I was not even aware was happening. I was looking at concert tickets for a band I really, truly love and desperately wish to see. I was talking about how my family would likely purchase tickets for me if I asked them to, and how they give me practically anything I ask for.

He called me on keeping them at arms length, and not giving them the love and respect they deserve for the lengths they have gone to, to try to make my life better.

He was right, and what followed was an argument about being alone as a kid, and being hurt and lost and disconnected, and not wanting to let them have the opportunity to fuck up again. But he was right.

After two hours I called them and apologized for pushing them away and thanked them for the lengths they've gone to.

Breakthrough.